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Beefnut's Corner:
BST pulling.
I often get asked the question, especially when cruising through the red
light district of Cabilis..."just how, oh one of such scales and might, how
do you make hunting so...blaise, so effortless."
I put my arm around the lovely Klok Rakra's of the world and I tell all
those lovely honeys, "Its the pimphand".
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Nothing opens up a night like an opium induced haze and ether. When the sun rises you wanna hit up your Scaly friend,
the ever so faithful Beefnut for me, with your spirit of pimpgoodness. Lil Beefy rises to the majesty of his name, and
just so he can wax the nads of the weak, I hit him off with the spirit of an ancient blizzard. Thats step one...creating
your faithful friend. No bullshit Scooby Doo running away from ghosts and getting high on special K laced cookies,
one hardcore badass motherfucker.
Now take your homeskillet pup down to some pipe hitting mofos. Scan the horizon like you own that shiz...which you do.
And pick. Just one for now, and heres the plan. Stroll up, Feather out in the wind in your pimphat. What...you brought
your pimp hat right? Yizzah...back to the scenario. Now dont show your wares, you gotta own that lazy ass skelly first.
You gotta get in his head, styling and shit. Stroll by, not too close, dont piss in his cheerios or nuthin. Give him a
little..."sup". Turn a little, now show your hand. Yeah...thats right, thats where you got the shiz. He sees
it...that little tab, that little fix hes looking for. You see those fires burn behind his eyes, you let him come. Now
you gotta pull some freaky ass hand eye shit here, but you never, ever give up a free tab, so retreat that shit into your
puffy shirt, and bust out with your antihistamine drowsy as fuck cold formula and jam that little pill straight in that
mofo's mouth. Now this next part is the mack shit, so peep your ears close...
No one likes the 5.0, so you gotta make it look like this is your bud from back in the day having a bad trip on some JD
and pizzills, but you gotta really keep your head and make sure he swallows that pill. Scan quick...no 5.0s? Good, now
its more of that crazy subterfuge. Back off, arms wide, and be like "Shit, oh shit!" And hightail.
That crazy fuck will think his boys are coming to bail his ass izzout. He starts coming like a pamplona bull, and thats
when you give Beefnut the little Elvis lip.
Like a Rottweiler on a Jerky Treat, Beefnut goes up and starts ripping at the skellie. Adjust your suit, spin around,
and produce...voila, your trusty bat and shank. Nothing gonna help this poor sap now, so nothing left to do but the classic.
Move around behind, slow like...and donkey punch him.
BLAUUWWWW!
Left right, left right. Rinse repeat till he falls.
Scratch ol Beefnut behind the ears, button up the vest, and continue on your way.
Next week: Fly hoes and you, how flash of light is your way to the bootay.
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