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Beefnut's Corner:
Question and Answer.
Hello again weary pimps of Norrath. We are proud to present this week what
we hope will be a trend, advice from the scaly fiend himself...Beefnut:
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Dear Beefnut,
You ever get that, "not-so-fresh" feeling? No not that cheesy,
stank-down-below feeling....I mean like, "Damn, I shouldnt'a slugged that
fifth of Drain-O" feeling. How do you recover from something like while
struttin your turf without losing all respect and strength in the
pimp-hand?
Sincerely,
Fippy Darkpaw
Dear Fippy,
Ok, lets start from the top. One, your a noob. Two...what turf? Ive
seen you stroll...you get your Doc Martens from Payless?!? Ever get to
thinking the reason the other gnolls are following you is to laugh at your
dirty ass? Not-so-fresh eh? I dont think thats from slugging any draino or
any rough and tumble shit like your playing up. Im thinking your ass got
rolled...AGAIN...and your scheming to find some way out. Heres a hint your
dirty bastard, real pimps dont drink, its all about the white horse. Go
peddle your filthy wares in your own land, Im sick of you ruining mine.
Peace...
B-nut
Dear Beefnut,
Hail.
SoW plz!
Got any spare equipment or money for a n00b13?
Hail.
Hail.
Will you help me with my epic?
Hail.
Sincerely,
Hail.
Dear Hail,
Eat dick.
Eat dick.
Go Shit yourself.
Eat dick.
Sincerely,
Beefnut
Dear Beefnut,
I got a problem that only a master pimp like yoself can help out with.
I got a customer who just dont pay up. This guy gave my bitch the slip and
I cant track his ass down anywhere. The other pimps are talkin like I cant
handle my bid-niss. She said he didnt give no name, but he was
old...ancient even...and only had one eye. Some of my boys say he sometimes
hangs out in the southern part of the desert. But damn, I been chillin out
with them gypsies (they gotsome crazy ass shit, will fuck you up) and
rolling the locals for info,but that mofo just wont show. I thought I saw
him one time, but some bitch ass, floating blue dog ran past me and capped
the bitz fore I could roll up on 'im. Whats a pimp to do?
Sincerely,
Krizzyn Ixitaryn
Dear Krizzyn,
Ok finally a real problem! Thank you. Well lets start from the top.
Strictly speaking Xzakyth and Cereborn are the pimps...but dont let them
fool you, a strict diet of opium gives them their edge. Saqqity von Spectre
and I...we're the enforcers. Oh, my law degree from CU (Chardok
University)...yeah dont worry about that, the only law I practice involves
my foot in your ass. Back to the subject. We came across this bitch once
ourselves. Apparently hes been up shits creek for quite some time. Seems
like every mofo in Norrath is after his hide. Now from what I hear, he's
into some heavy shit, burglary and shiz, and for someone that size, that
aint no easy thang. Heres the scoop, I sent my boyz out to collect the
411: He meets his fence on this shitty little island with no extradition
laws. Park yourself out there and wait for him. Trouble is, lots of
imposters. Dont bother with them, give em the DP...ya know: donkey punch.
Just make sure their fat asses dont fall on you. Rifle through his shit
and drag him into the water when your done. Dumb fucks keep coming back
and the Ancient Nut Horder is brazen enough to not care and will show up.
If anyone comes rolling up wanting to tenderize him too, just back em off
and give them the sloppy seconds.
Oh yeah...dont fuck with the gypsies. They have one hardcore
underground. Happy shanking.
Beefnizzut.
Well kids thats all the time I have right now, someones paging me. Next
week: The White Horse and you...the cycle to freedom.
Old Beefnuts:
1. BST pulling
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